Emotions...

A lot has been going on over the past couple of weeks and I have been feeling a whirl wind of emotions! Even though I'm not planning on posting this (at least for right now) I've decided to write down all the things that are going through my head.

As you know, Preston and I have been trying for another baby for sometime now. A little over a year to be exact. Well, on Tuesday, May 11th I found out I was pregnant with a home pregnancy test purchased from the Dollar store! Even though I was in total shock and denial, a part of me was jumping for joy! I was beginning to think that it was never going to happen and that maybe we were meant to only have 2 kids. Which is fine! I am SO grateful for the 2 great kids that I have but a part of me knew that there was at least one more waiting to come to our family!
So, after finding out our good news I hurried and called my good friend that does Ultrasounds to see if she would scan me before she went on maternity leave. So last Thursday, the 20th, I went in to see how things were looking. I knew it would be really early and that we probably wouldn't even see a heartbeat but, I just wanted to make sure things were growing in the right places! (I always get worried about having a tubal pregnancy)
Well, it turns out that I was about 5 weeks along but it was still a little too early to see a heartbeat. But, everything was where it was supposed to be and looked perfectly normal. That is until, my friend said that she was seeing 2 sacs. WHAT???? Are you kidding me? 2?? What does this mean? Are you sure? She said that since it was still so early that she couldn't be 100% sure but there is a chance that there are TWINS!!!
My heart sunk! I sat there in complete shock while at the same time Preston was ecstatic and pretty much just laughing!
These are some of the things that went thorough my head at that very moment...
we don't have a big enough car for 4 kids!
what about our Mexico trips? Who is going to want to watch 4 kids for us?!
I'm never going to be able to go ANYWHERE!!
Formula for 2 babies! How much is that going to cost?
Twin pregnancies are much higher risk! What if I have to go on bed rest?
What if something goes wrong and I lose 1 or both babies?
What if they're not healthy?
What about my other 2 kids? Are they going to get pushed aside?
These are just a few of the MANY things that have been going through my mind the past few days. Here we were, worried that we might not even get 1 more baby and now there is a chance that we could have 2! Don't get me wrong, I will be SO grateful for however it does turn out and I know that we can handle whatever comes our way but, you have to admit...it's SCARY!!
Needless to say, I haven't gotten much sleep the last few nights and I feel like my mind is somewhere else! I have to go back in a couple of weeks to confirm either way and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the longest 2 weeks of my life!
Not to mention, on top of all this, yesterday they called me to be the new Relief Society Secretary! Yikes!!! Why is it, that nothing can happen for years...and then all of the sudden, everything hits you within a matter of a couple of weeks?? I guess that's why they're called trials, right?
Well, by the time anyone reads this (if they ever do) we will know the verdict to our future! And, we will be ready for whatever Heavenly Father decides to throw are way! =)
After all, you'll never be give more than you can handle, right?