Now, for those of you who know me and hang out with me a lot, it's probably hard to believe. I am naturally LOUD and pretty outgoing. It's when all eyes are on me I start to freak out. I don't even like saying the prayer at group dinners. I try my hardest to avoid eye contact with the person choosing someone to say the prayer and act like I'm busy with the kids or something. 
I HATE having this fear so much! I haven't been able to bare my testimony in church since I was probably 5 even though I want to more than anything. I felt like the worst mom at both of my kids' baby blessings not standing up to bare my testimony and let my Heavenly Father know how grateful I am for them.
I would try so hard to do it but sitting there I would be shaking and have tears in my eyes. I can't even imagine the hot mess I would be if I were to actually get up there. Nobody would be able to understand what I was saying cause I would be crying so hard. And that's if I were to make it up there before passing out.
I don't know why I have this fear. I feel that I'm not really the kind of person that cares what other people think of me...but, maybe I am.
Does anybody else have this problem? Any suggestions on how to get over it? Ugh, it's so annoying!
7 comments:
Keri, I don't mind speaking in public, but it isn't my favorite either. I do know for a fact that you aren't the only one out there who has this fear. My suggestion would be to maybe fast and pray about it.
Also, I don't remember my mom bearing her testimony very often growing up, but I still knew she had a testimony by the example she set for me.
I always feel the exact same way before. I freak out!! But once i am up there and get going then it kinda gets easier. I have to teach in YW's in front of all of them and I get SICK! But once I'm up there and doing it, it seems so much easier than I thought it would be. Plus, the more times i do it the easier it gets. But I do still freak out before no matter what. : ) Good luck!
I feel the exact same way! I bore my testimony for the first time a few months ago! It was a huge accomplishment and the best part was a bunch of people came up to me after and said thank you. You truly never know when or how you might touch someone's life! I feel the spirit more when someone who doesn't normally do it rather than the usual ones. Go for it Keri I believe in you! I promise you're the only one who notices if your shaking or crying too much. I DARE YOU APRIL 4TH! If you do it I will! Love you and missed you tonight!
I had to laugh reading this because it was like my own life story. I was asked when I was 12 to speak and said yes and 2 days before I called and told him I couldn't because I was so terrified. I still have yet to ever bear my testimony in sacrament. I've gotten a little better as I've gotten older, but to voluntarily get up there is out of the question. I have done little things here and there and I just have to kind of look above everyone and just tell myself that I don't care. Don't think about the details of it all, just think it's no big deal and you can do it. Sometimes smaller crowds are harder because it feels more personal and you can feel each individual looking at you. Honestly I think you just have to go for it.
You are so awesome! The feelings you are feeling when you want to bear your testimony are the SPIRIT TELLING YOU TO GET UP THERE! Let's face it, it's a LONG walk up to the podium! Just listen to the Spirit, let Him stand you up...that's what He's trying to do! Then just pray you don't trip up the stairs or something!
The thing about you is that people can FEEL your spirit without you having to say a word! I've always known and felt that, which is why I always knew you'd come out shining!
Am I right all you friends of this beautiful girl???
Oh yeah, I STILL try to look busy at prayer-calling time! Ha Ha! You never knew that, did you??
I also feel guilty for not getting up at my kid's baby blessings. I wish I didn't get so freaked out being in front of people too--somehow Primary isn't too bad. I'm not sure what to do to make it easier than maybe just doing it and the more you do, hopefully the easier it will get. I'm right there with you though!
Also, I love the new blog and your honesty! Can't wait for more!
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